


breathe.

by AGRochelle



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bittersweet, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 16:43:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16021895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGRochelle/pseuds/AGRochelle
Summary: How do you face someone who had your heart but never deserved you?





	breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a Tumblr challenge. It is my first Marvel /Steve Roger's fic, that I have posted. I usually write Bucky. So, kind and constructive feedback is welcomed!

The ballroom shimmered under the bright lights. The decor was simple and elegant. The food was made by some of the best chefs in the area. The chatter and the clanking of the glasses were getting under your skin and you felt hot. You downed the rest of your drink and glanced back around.

All the women and men dressed for the occasion. It made you feel nauseous. You took a shaky breath and grabbed two drinks from a try held by a passing waitress. She gave you a small smile. Probably judging me. Your cruel thought made you snort and you turned on your heel to head towards the balcony. An arm snuck its way to loop around yours and a soft accented voice made you cringe. _Busted._

“How many drinks has it been?” Wanda’s asked and continued to walk with you. You finished your drink and placed it on the bar tabletop. You held up five fingers and smiled sweetly at your friend. Wanda pulled you closer and sped up the pace. Once you two had made it out to the balcony you walked some little ways away from the crowds that were gathered. You turned away from the city lights and faced Wanda. She had her arms crossed and her brow was furrowed.

“Look, I'm going to congratulate him--them! Congratulate them!” You took a long drink from the drink in your hand and continued, “And then I'll leave. Simple!”

You watched as Wanda's eyes softened and you turned away from her gaze. “Don’t look at me that way, Wan.” You took a deep breath before facing her again. “I’m fine.”

“You're not fine.” She grasped onto your empty hand and squeezed. “The way things were handled was wrong!” Her voice rose, and you quickly pulled her further away from the crowds.

“It doesn't matter now.” You said, desperately trying to calm her.

“You can still try.” She motioned towards the doors, “Go talk to him!” she urged. Your eyes widened in surprise. She had been neutral about the situation this whole time.

“This is his engagement party, Wanda!” you bit your lip and shook your head. Your eyes pricked with tears, but you held them back. She quickly hugged you to her and whispered a sorry.

You pulled away and smiled at her. “I truly am okay, Wan.”

You told her to head inside and that you needed a moment. She reluctantly listened to you. You looked at all the city lights again, sipping on the last of your drink. Anxiety was building up again. Your breath a little shaky. You closed your eyes and hung your head low.

“Hey.”

You froze. Oh, God. It's _him._

You turned and faced him. His suit fit him so well, the blue in it bringing out the blue in his eyes more. You finally looked up to meet his gaze. His eyes flickered with something you couldn't place, and he wore a simple smile. Your breath caught in your throat. _Steve._

“Hey, soldier.” your voice has a little shake to it, but you mustered up a big smile. He held a drink towards you and you took it with a small thank you, carefully avoiding touching his fingers. “Enjoying your party?” you ask as you take a quick sip of the drink. You were trying to calm your nerves. His smile dropped. _Oh, no._

“I'm sorry, I can't do this.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you around the corner, out of sight of everyone. He let go of your arm and ran a hand through his hair and stared at the concrete. Your arm burned where his hand had just been. You just stood there, your heart beating out of your chest. What the hell was going on? Steve started pacing and wringing his hands. He still hadn't spoke or looked at you. You placed the drink on the ground and took a tentative step in his direction and reached out a hand towards him.

“Steve?” His head snapped up and you quickly dropped your hand. He looked upset. He looked sad. He looked...broken.

“It's my engagement party.” He stated, and you nodded slowly.

“I'm supposed to be happy.” You nod again. You throat felt dry.

“But I can't be happy.” his whisper almost didn't make it to your ears. You opened your mouth to disagree with him, but he took a hold of your hands.

“I keep think about the day she came back and how I didn't know what to do.” He was speaking quick and you were stuck. _Pull away,_ _y/n!_  His grip on you was a little tight. “You didn't stop me. You just let me leave.” You gasped and pulled against his hold. “No, listen--I’m not saying its it's your fault!” He pulled you closer to him, letting go of one hand. You shoved against his chest.

“Let me go, Rogers.”

“Y/n, _please.”_ the desperation in his voice made you pause. Your breath still fast, you felt the tears building up again. _Don't cry!_ Not in from of him.

“I-I’m not sure I made the right choice, is what I'm trying to say” Steve swallowed and looked away from you. “I should have never let you leave that day.” _Excuse, me?_ Your hands started shaking. You ripped away from his hold. He tried to reach for you, but you smacked his hands away from you.

“It's been _months!”_ You hiss at him. He took a step towards you and you took one away from him. “You asked her to marry you! We're at your engagement party!” Your voice started rising. He quickly pulled you further into the dimly lit area. You pulled out of his grasp and you took in his appearance. His suit still in place, no wrinkles or frays and his hair was still in place. The only thing giving away what he was going through were his eyes. They were pleading with you. They were desperate. They were sad and worried. A tear slipped down your cheek. His face dropped at the sight and he went to reach for you again. You hugged yourself and stopped him. His eyes filled with tears and you thought about how many times you had wanted him to come back to you. How many times you cried over him? How many times did you dial his number but never pushed call. All the typed-out texts that were never sent. The events that you missed out on because you knew it was going to be hard being around him and Sharon. Him telling you he wanted to be with you was all you ever wanted. And now? What were you supposed to do now?

A small laugh escaped your lips. You quickly covered your mouth. He raised an eyebrow. You laughed again. It was muffled by your hand. You close the distance between the two of you and place a hand on his chest. You look up, into the blue eyes that you use to daydream about. The confused look that possessed his face made more tears trail down your face. His hands cupped your face and wiped away the tears.

“Talk to me.” He whispered. One hand was wrapped around your waist, the other wiping away stray tears. His own tears leaving their own trail in his face.

“Y’know, I used to imagine you saying something like that to me.” You looked into his eyes. “I used to think that you would come back but you were never mine really mine, were you?” You let out a soft giggle. You sigh when his gaze drops to your lips then back up to your eyes. You cast your eyes over his face. Your hand caressing his cheek.

“Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” You sniff and lower your head.

“You don't have to let me go.” He places his fingers under your chin, gently pulling your head up to look at him again. “I’m here.”

You start to say something as the two of you hear Bucky calling Steve. You pulled out of his embrace, the whole time, Steve trying to hold on you. You give Steve a sad smile as Bucky rounds the corner.

“Dude, where--O-oh!” Bucky stammers and awkwardly stands there rubbing the back of his neck.

Steve’s eyes haven't left you. As you turn away from Bucky, his breathing hitches. The smile on your face, is killing him. The smile didn’t meet your eyes. He knew how much he hurt you and he hated it. He should have said something sooner. The smile your face held was the same smile you wore when he told you about Sharon.

“Make her happy, Steve.”

You watched as his face dropped and he sprung to action to stop you from leaving. You quickly step around Bucky and flee. Steve’s voice calling for you. You take a quick glance back as you reach the doors, Bucky is holding Steve back. You can already feel the stares of the guests boring into your back and you hear the whispers. You smile again and run.

Once you had made it far enough from the building you slowed down and leaned against the nearest building. A laugh bubbled out of you again. You bit your lip and ran a hand through your hair.

Letting him go was the hardest thing you had to do but telling him...telling him was the easiest thing in the world. He had never deserved you to begin with.

You hailed a taxi and went home, lighter than you have been in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I might post another Marvel fic soon but with Bucky.


End file.
